It's been a long time, gentle reader, since you've seen the GWC crew make a blog entry. However, all two of you can step off the ledge now and breathe easy, for we have returned. *Applause*Nearly a year after our rumored demise, Sam has decided to resurrect ye olde blog and make it well-nigh a respectable place to hold court. Betwixt thou and thee I'm just a lazy slacker who had completely forgot about the impending doom that had almost befallen our beloved blog site. Nevertheless, time is no longer pressing on me. It matters not one whit.
What does matter is that you, gentle reader, have missed out on a fair amount of my misadventures, which include, but are not limited to, the vending machine expiration fiasco, and the sneaky mcbeezy style of photography, which I learned at the University of Take Pics Like a Ninja. The photo ninja in me has taken a good amount of pictures that would either land me in the slammer, or grant me a stern talking to by a few questionable characters. However, due to threat of legal action, such photographs shall not appear on this blog.
Okay, maybe just one...
While I understand the pressures one can put on thine self during finals week, this creature of the female variety was just begging me to apply my ninja photo taking skills. It was a worthy challenge for a skilled warrior such as moi.Enough of the foreplay, let's get down to why we're here:
What have I been up recently? This may sound weird, but bear with me... I've been hoarding Whataburger ketchup. Why? I'll tell you why. Since the dawn of time when Harmon Dobson opened up that first Whataburger in Corpus Christi, Texas, the good people at WB have treated their utterly delicious packets of mouth watering ketchup like gold nuggets. They will literally hide it behind the counter, only dispensing the packs when either requested or with your standard order. Never more than two will accompany an order of their tasty fries, no matter how big the box size.
I'm no Anderson Cooper, but I did my own bit of investigative reporting when I actually worked at Whataburger in various stints from Summer of 1998 to the Summer of 2000. After all the months of painstaking work I was nowhere near finding out the truth of this much talked about mystery that has plagued the paying public since 1950. Why? We just want to know why!
Is it the shape of the packet? Mind you, these little packets of red gold serve two purposes. The first is ketchup on the go when you don't have the time to stay inside and eat your juicy burger in an allotted time frame. The second is because it serves as its own serving pouch. Yes, Whataburger ketchup isn't a squeeze packet, it's a dipping packet! The millions of dollars spent into shaping and forming that extra bit of plastic is astounding! Henceforth, Whataburger ketchup is more closely guarded than a president's motorcade passing through Dallas. You'll know when a counter girl has an eye for you when she sneaks in an extra ketchup packet into your bag; it is a crime punishable by death, no doubt, administered by the Whataburger oligarchy who reign from up high. So either Ms. Cash register has a thing for you, or she just doesn't care about the ketchup packet laws put in place by Mr. Dobson.
Either way, I hate running out of ketchup when I enjoy a nice, hot, heaping helping of Whataburger fries. I have amassed a small army of ketchup packets, and they are ready to strike as soon as they hear the word Taquito sauce!
Death to all but Whataburger!
Yes, I realize this post makes absolutely no sense. Thank you. I am enlightened.
