Technology of the world, Craig, of the world! (part I)

Modern technology is a wonderful thing. It has enabled us to enjoy stuff like porn without having to shamefully walk into a smut store and hand the disgusted cashier your purchases and money, knowing full well what you are about to go home and do you filthy pervert.

It has also enabled us to do wholesome things like make payphones obsolete, not having to fumble through your cds in order to find that one song that you have to listen to at that right, exact moment. It even allows me the to be able to program my coffee machine to brew my java whenever I want it to!

In my younger years, I did everything to shun modern technology. I scoffed when my high school got the internet on their computers. I guffawed at the mere mention of a cellular telephone. However, when I first started to notice I was getting old, I decided to embrace change. I no longer scowled at the kids who preferred a word processor to good ol' fashion writing with a pen and paper! I fell in love with spell check, thus ending a 19 year marriage to scratch marks, editing notes, and strike through lines. I was happenin' baby!

During the Summer of 2001, I went to Sears and picked up a dvd player. They were fairly new at the time, and this thing cost me a pretty penny. Here it is in 2006, getting ready for the rocking chair.
It had lasted me a good while, but in the end it was time to go. It had started to not read discs anymore. It would pop dvds out like Mrs. Wayans popped out kids. Also, it wouldn't read bootleg dvds. That was suuuch a no-no. I loved its many features, like 8x zoom, bookmarking capability, and that cool blue light that only a Fisher DVD player could have. It was a sad day.


And then there was the case of the iPod and my immense cd collection. For years I carried away a bulky walkman with a carrying case I paid twenty dollars for. It was big, it hung around your neck, and because it was leather it would make your neck sweat like none other. Yes, something had to be done. I had been growing the collection since maybe 1993, when I got my hands on a Boys in the hood cd soundtrack at a yard sale for 3 dollars American. That along with copies of Poor Righteous Teachers, Gang Starr, and Smoothe Tha Hustla, started something special. By 2003, things began to get out of hand.

That right there is just a small portion of the CD empire that was at my disposal. I even had it all cataloged in that green folder.

Enter the 2004 iPod mini. It was my savior. All the songs I love in the palm of my hands. It was one hell of a steal. Then they discontinued it, Craig, discontinued it! The iPod nano eventually came along and made short work of the memory of the old mini. Some claim that the mini was a myth. Others claim that it was one of nature's enigmas, like the bigfoot, or a justifiable reason for Don West being on TNA for so damn long. Really, Don, it's time to go. You suck!

Once again, time and technological advances stick their grubby hands in our poor wittle defenseless pockets. Yes, Virginia, there is a reason to shell out 249 American dollars.
Friends, allow me to introduce to you, the motherfucking 6th generation iPod Classic! I love using it. It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly suggest picking one up. I don't have to tell you what this machine does. You should already know.

Continued in part II...